Last night, entirely accidentally, we conducted some anthropological research on the local population of Yangshuo. Here are some of our preliminary findings:
- Mating rituals:
- Approach: Females deemed suitable mates for the young males of Yangshuo are neared while consuming their evening meals, and are asked out while trapped in their seats.
- Lock down: The young males make sure their prey cannot escape by following them to their hostels, asking for phone numbers, sending messages, calling the hostel multiple times and anxiously awaiting their return as the females reluctantly prepare themselves.
- Ensuring success: Roses are offered in hope of increasing chances of mating. In addition, excessive compliments may be showered upon the females.
- Preferred environment:
- The mating ritual should preferably take place in a bar. A bar that is deemed suitable must have: Live music; strobe lighting; neon lighting; half-naked DJ’s; the opportunity for karaoke, and the occasional pole dancer.
- In addition, excessive quantities of low-percentage beers should be made available in order to increase chances of success.
- Alcohol consumption:
- The young male population of Yangshuo appears to heavily overestimate their own drinking ability. Caution is advised.
- As increased levels of alcohols enter their bloodstream, the males appear to lose prior inhibitions. Side effects may include: excessive dancing, loud singing, and an increased confidence that the opposite sex finds them attractive.
- In case of failure:
- The young males attempt to call or message said females should success on the night not happen.
Note: Our findings are entirely based on three such young males. They are not representative, and thus cannot be generalised to the entire population of Yangshuo.